Fun with the Bible
"And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh to his friend." -Exodus 33:11
"No man hath seen God at any time." -John 1:18
"Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me?" -Jeremiah 32:27
"And the Lord was with Judah; and he drove out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." -Judges 1:19
"I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy. Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not, but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling." -Jeremiah 13:14
"The Lord is very pitiful and of tender mercy." -James 5:11
"Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech. So the Lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the Lord did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the Lord scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth." -Genesis 11:7-9
"These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren." -Proverbs 6:16-19
"Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding." -Proverbs 3:13
"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." -Ecclesiastes 1:18
"And again the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel, and he moved David against them to say, Go, number Israel and Judah." 2 Samuel 24:1
"And Satan stood up against Israel, and provoked David to number Israel." -1 Chronicles 21:1
"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast." -Ephesians 2:8-9
"Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only." -James 2:24
"And Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven." -2 Kings 2:11
"No man hath ascended up to heaven but he that came down from heaven, ...the Son of Man." -John 3:13
"The word which God sent unto the children of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ." -Acts 10:36
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household." -Matthew 10:34
posted by Todd @ 7:29 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Why must you blaspheme so? The devil can quote Scripture to suit his purposes. Begone Old Scratch!
Speaking of the devil, you know what always amuses me? The idea of an eons-long "war" between Satan and God. I mean, Christianity says that Satan was a fallen angel, right? And God created the angels, right? Well, if God created the dude, then shouldn't that be a pretty quick war? I mean, if I made a ham sandwich and then declared it my arch-enemy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if it took me thousands of years to ultimately defeat it.
Think of it this way. A man makes a ham sandwich and leaves it in a dining hall full of people who are very hungry. Also, this same man sometimes simply throws away hors d'oeuvres, ribeyes, and even the occasional Cobb salad just because he can. If the hungry folk ask "why?", the man just smiles smugly and tells the diners that they're not smart enough to know what he's doing.
Yet still the ham sandwich sits there, beguiling in all of its ham-sandwichness.
Though the man pours fine onion soup down the garbage disposal every day, he wants the hungry people to think that the ham sandwich is somehow indestructible.
But not to be eaten.
Yet there it beckons.
This, in a nutshell, is god, satan, and his/their relationship with humanity. Life's a deli, and we're the three-day mold on the Kaiser rolls.
^_^
And life's a deli? Dude. I totally want a Reuben.
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