Apathetic?

Disenchanted? Unmotivated? Indifferent? Spiritless? Just plain lazy?

Whatever I want to call it, it's obvious to anyone who reads this blog regularly (or semi-regularly, given my habits of late) that I've been a little off my game in the recent past. I'm not quite sure what it is, either. Part of it's probably the heat (and the fact that I've been spending too much time dealing with it at the bookstore lately - I don't envy the front counter people their jobs, but at least they get to hang out in the AC all day). Part of it, I'm sure, is the fact that the bank has been using me semi-regularly in the last month and so I'm kinda behind on sleep - but then, it's not like I'm ever caught up there, so that's probably not worth much as an excuse. Part of it is that I'm totally wrapped up in both GTA: San Andreas and the fiction of Tad Williams (Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn was amazing, so I decided to reread Otherland while I was at it) and there's just not enough hours in the day to do everything I'd like to do. Part of it is also the time I'm spending at the movie theaters this summer (I loved War of the Worlds, semi-liked Batman Begins, and thought Fantastic Four and Mr. & Mrs. Smith should have gone straight to video).

But all of that's not enough to explain it. I'm honestly just kinda "feh" lately. Not sure quite what it is, either - while there are parts of my life that could stand some improvement, it's not like I'm disappointed/depressed/upset about anything in particular. The one thing that I can say is really weighing on my mind is the fact that I need to quit smoking - the enjoyment is gone, and now it's pretty much just a disgusting, money-sucking habit. I've been planning to call the doctor, make an appointment, and get myself hooked up with a prescription for the pill. But I haven't gotten around to it. I need to do that. Overall, though, I dunno. Maybe I just need a big fat bowl of ice cream and about 24 hours of sleep.

In any case, I promise I'll try to do better. ^_^