Gabrielle Anwar, you're so much better than this

Flying Virus
4:00 PM Channel 175 SCI-FI
120 minutes

Genetically altered bees carrying a deadly virus terrorize airplane passengers. Gabrielle Anwar, Rutger Hauer, Craig Sheffer.

I love this listing. It's so schizophrenic. Is it a bee movie? (The summary, along with the name Rutger Hauer, has already told us that it's a B-movie.) Is it a deadly virus movie? Is it an airline disaster movie? You can just see the scriptwriter sitting alone in his little studio apartment late one night, thinking "disaster movies have been pretty hot lately... the Sci-Fi channel will always buy them even if they're bad... hmm... and if one disaster is spectacular, then multiple disasters have got to be the absolute shit! I think I'm onto something here!" *frenetic typing*

See also: Snakes on a Plane. Although I'm not going to make fun of that, because Samuel L. would probably come to my house and kick my ass. Also, I happen to plan on seeing it. Promptly.

I admit to being somewhat disappointed, however. Why stop at just three? Such wasted potential. Give me a listing like "Genetically altered bees carrying a deadly virus terrorize airplane passengers over the Bermuda Triangle while a meteor strike during a Category 5 hurricane causes earthquakes and tsunamis." Now that would inspire me to turn on the television. I'd probably even make popcorn. Everybody would win. Well, except for Gabrielle Anwar. She needs to fire her agent.

Springfield stories and thoughts to come! May has been amazing.